THE SECRET OF LIFE AND DEATH AS TOLD TO ME BY MAA KAMAKHYA
I am not really a very religious person, nor do I believe in rituals and ceremonies. Yes, but I am highly spiritual. Since my childhood I always questioned everything. Why this and why that? In those days there were no computers and therefore there was no google search, and my little curious mind was always left with unsatisfied answers to my probably irritating questions. Also I was not aware of how to connect to the Creator Of All That Is, like I do today. Though I always knew that, there was a Supreme Force beyond every reality, beyond every existence. Today, that Supreme Force, or the Creator, I refer to as God. As a child I was taught to fear God, and that God punishes us. My little brain could never understand that how can someone who has created us, who is supposed to love us, take care of us, be so cruel and punish us. Then slowly I was introduced to the concept of death. And all learnt was that Death was a form of punishment. Again my little brain started working overtime. How can death be a punishment if God has created this. So when a person dies, he goes to God. I was told this by my parents. Then if you go to God after Death, then he surely has to love you. So the Punishment theory was beyond my comprehension. Death has always intrigued me, rather fascinated me. And as a child, I always was curious about Death and what happens when one dies, and was always tempted with experimenting with death.
So when I decided to write about this topic, I discussed it with my dearest friend, my friend had a quizzical look on the face. “Why are you writing about life and death?” my friend asked me. “Did God tell you to do so. Isn’t there enough literature about the same?” I said, “of course dear, I am aware of the literature. I have read many a books of this subject. But what was told to me by the Goddess in the temple in Kamakhya, in Guwhati, blew me out completely.”
I narrated my experiences with Maa Kamakhya, to my friend. I first visited to the temple was around 7 years back. Little did I know that I would be visiting her so many times after that. I was not really aware of the temple or the goddess. All I knew was that tantriks pray to her and one can learn tantra in kamakhya. But somehow I felt fascinated by her divinity. There was some power, which I was getting drawn towards. Then again a year and a half back I visited the temple. Again I could feel the strong vibrations and was getting drawn towards her. A couple of days later, I again visited the temple, and to my horror I saw a buffalo head in the temple. It was a sacrifice. Tears started rolling down my eyes and I was very very disturbed. My heart was bleeding. I just wanted to run away from the temple. I remembered what I had heard as a child, about death as a punishment. I had no desire to stand there. But I was not a coward and I wanted some answers, which I always sought. With a big lump in my throat, I decided to connect to her to get to the bottom of this cruel reality. I was not sure if she would connect as I was angry and upset with her for the continuing sacrifices that are going on even in today’s times.
To my greatest surprise, I heard a sweet and a soft voice which spoke to me, “Shradha, I know you don’t like all this.” I looked around and could see no one. I immediately went into theta and asked God, “God who is this talking to me?” And as always, God just laughed and said, ”Well, my child get ready for some answers from Maa Kamakhya herself.” I was crying with the sight of the buffalo head in my mind stuck so firmly, and asked her , “why she enjoyed bloodshed, and that too of poor innocent animals.” I felt a breeze across my face and a gentle caress across my hair. I turned around thinking that some one was trying to act smart in that crowded temple. The person behind me was an elderly couple in their seventies devotedly praying with their eyes closed. Once again, I heard that melodious voice and I knew it was Maa talking to me while making her presence felt. I was still upset with her. I was upset with the rituals which seemed so cruel. I pleaded her to give me the answers. This is what she said, “Shradha, my child, this is a dual world, the good and the bad exist simultaneously. Also there is good and bad in each one of us. Each soul needs to transform at higher levels. And this is a journey each of the soul has chosen. So each soul chooses a life whether of an animal or a bird, or a plant depending upon his karmas and how evolved he or she is. When the animal who is sacrificed, it has willfully chosen the birth of a sacrificial animal only. It was purely to evolve into the higher vibrations. And when such an animal is brought to me, it is the happiest soul, because it is aware that its onward journey is beautiful and can come back as a higher soul.” I was still not satisfied with her answer. In an agitated manner, I asked her, “but maa, what about the pain the poor creature has to go through.” She whispered in my ears, “I am here to take care of that Shradha, before the sacrifice is done, I send the soul back to be transformed, so in reality the soul does not suffer at all. There is no pain, the soul moves into higher vibrations and is thus freed from its previous karmas.” I still could not comprehend why would a soul wish to be choosing to die in this manner, and I just heard a voice in my ears say, “It is karmas, Shradha, these souls have put other souls through pain and torture, and now they desire to experience the same, to wash off the karmas and according to those souls it is a form of repentence.”
I just sat down. I did not know what to say. I was dumbfounded. I asked Maa for her forgiveness and thanked her as a huge reality of life and death was revealed on to me by Maa herself. I just don’t know how to thank the Creator enough for making me understand such wisdom.
Despite all this revelations, I told Maa, “no matter what, Maa, I do not like bloodshed.” And she said, “Well I will soon reveal what happens to these souls and how they get transformed.” (Maa has already shown me this and will soon share this information). Recently a couple of months back I visited Guwhati and I visited the temple on two occasions. I told Maa, You have called me again. And Maa said, “Well you have to keep coming here again and again.”
I humbly expressed my gratitude to her, made my offerings of flowers and headed back home with a new knowledge straight from the Goddess herself. Whenever I think of that incident, I see death as a beautiful journey for the soul to ascend higher and higher. I understood that when we choose our life, we have to stick to our life purpose and not deviate, as only in human life we can bypass so many negative karmas and other issues, to empower the soul to move higher, in this process of ascension. I no longer see Death as a form of Punishment. I also know that Gods can shower only LOVE and for dubious reasons, fear psychosis is created in the name of religion. All I know and believe is GOD LOVES UNCONDITIONALLY.